Have you ever stayed up late for hours? I am not talking about broken or incomplete sleep. I mean those few hours when the world sleeps, and your desecrated soul mewls its exhaustion; if you are lucky, and a living, breathing creature that you share these moments of vulnerability with, without filter, without mouth wash, and without worry. The complete and concrete lack of it, so much that you ignore the “studies have shown this shortens life span” phrase? When the tangled yarn of life untangles itself into the straight-line like the path you swore to your parents you would tread?
That level of intimacy, that freedom of just being with another human being, purposeless, on a sleepless high without drugs is one priceless moment you can get.
Real intimacy is when you earnestly care about your partner’s feelings and treat them with love and most importantly respect. Not just the sexual part of it.
Below are some non-sexual forms of intimacy that bring people closer together?
- Complement them in front of your family/friends. It makes them feel extra special.
- In a group of 30 people, you keep searching for them, and once there is eye contact, there is a spark, and you can see the passion and love in each other eyes.
- When she says, I am not perfect for you, and you reply; well, I am in love with all your imperfections. Please be like this forever.
- You complete each other’s sentences. It feels as if your partner can read your mind every time. These feel good. I’m not talking about trying to read your partners’ minds from the mood or facial expression.
- Taking a walk and just hearing and talking out on a bad day
- Listen to what they say. Listening does not mean consenting. Just a patient listening, acknowledge their words and nonjudgmental gesture.
- Be creative: Whenever you can, you do things together like helping in a community program, building up a website with someone, planning an event together, collecting information for a project together, Home decor, furniture repair, or anything that requires you both to pour out creativity is likely to bring you closer. Any of this can create intimacy.
- Cuddle until you both fall asleep. It makes one feel protected and gives warmth.
- Peck on the forehead.
- Kiss on the lips.
This reminds me of a short clip that went viral some time ago. A little boy was upset while telling his dad his mum left home without him getting a kiss from her. You can tell from his expression that he was sad. You may think it’s just a peck, but it shows your significant other how much you adore them.
- Sharing of deep dark secrets: When you share your fears, your weakness, etc. It has a way of bringing you closer than you think while bearing it in mind that, sharing it with them because you trust them to keep you safe and not use them against you.
- Share your goals and ambitions (even the unrealistic ones). When you share your goals and ambitions with your partner, it gives them room to assist you in areas where you need help, and by so doing, you find yourself working on something worthwhile together.
In life, one of the most important things we can give each other in times of pain is compassion. A simple, Oh! I bet that’s hard. We should offer that before, instead, advise on how to cope. Your ability to be who you are with someone else and not having to judge them can go a long way in increasing your intimacy with them.
Did you know, sometimes, all you need is for you to remember the preferences of your significant other. Keep that in mind, know what they like/dislike, and make them happy It’s way better than intimacy
When you both listen to a piece of music, you feel the rhythm, you feel the vibe. That alone can create a perfect environment to get to know each other, but in a way that is unspoken, intangible, and new.
Intimacy is all about sharing and of course, all I already mentioned. It must not just be all about sex.
Written by: Juliana Jonathan
Photo credit: Stockstutter