Dating online has made the world a smaller place since meeting that special someone no matter how near or far is just a click away. Finding someone special is mostly about how you both communicate.
Meeting people online may be a little different from meeting someone new through friends. The similarities in both situations are; it takes time to know a person and there is nothing wrong being too careful especially with matters of the heart.
It’s really not that complicated, people just tend to take their fears, insecurities, and doubts and make it complicated. But really, online dating is just like any conversation you have with anyone you’ve ever known. If you’re interested in someone, then just be genuine about getting to know them. Ask questions, open up about yourself, and just try to have fun.
If one decides to try online dating, here are few advice one must remember along the way;
- Take it slow:
There are a lot of nice people online but there are also some bad people who just take advantage of others. To be sure whether the person one is corresponding with is for real or just playing games, it is best to look out for inconsistencies. If at any instance, there is a feeling of doubt or something wrong, then its best to stop and move on.
Don’t give out personals:
Since one does not have any idea who this person can be, it is best not to give out any personal information such as last name, real email address and contact numbers. If the person one is corresponding with keeps on pressuring on this issue, it is best to also stop making contact with that person.
Ask for a photo:
Some people say it does not matter what is in the outside but what is inside the person. Physical appearance believe it or not matters. To authenticate the person one is talking with online, it is best to ask for a photo. For security reasons, it will be best not just one picture but in various settings. If this person is not able to do this, then one should also stop making contact with this person.
Proceed with caution:
Earning the trust of people does not happen overnight. By taking some time to know more about this person, one will be able to see if this can on any further or be better off meeting someone else.
Meet Only When Ready:
Even if a certain level of trust has been established, it is best to only decide to meet when one is ready. Just like meeting someone for the first time, one should take it slow.
Choose a public Area:
Before meeting this person, it is best to tell people like friends and family where one is going. In the interest of safety and security, it is also best to meet in a in a busy place and stay in the busy place. . If there are many people that are around, the safer it will be in case the date does not work out.
Keep the pressure off:
This isn’t life or death, it’s a date. You’re going to have tons of them, and everyone kisses a few frogs. But if you just aim to be yourself and have some fun, you’re probably going to.
Stop looking at women as objects of sex or tools to be manipulated.
How do you feel about someone who you know 100% is just here to manipulate you?
Stop seeing men as a money bag and also as a means of escape from your financial responsibility.
Request for a Video Call:
When you find yourself in a situation where there’s distance, it’s advisable you request for a video call because we have a thousand and one fake profiles online. In order to avoid being cat fished. If he/she refuse making a video call with you and always looking for an excuse, it’s advisable you let them go.
- Be honest and straightforward with their personality; if something is strange, or wrong, don’t continue.
- Respect yourself enough to uphold your values.
- Respect your date enough to make your values clear.
- Drink from bottles: this makes it harder to slip something into it.
- Date responsibly. There will be consequence
- Get your friend to call you half an hour into the date, or near the end, so you can make an excuse to leave, if it isn’t going well. and also ask them to call you when you get home, to make sure you are safe.
We all know how the online dating works, for instance; you saw a cute guy or a beautiful lady online and fell in love with them. Then when you meet them in person you are like, WTF have I gotten myself into. Then the message stops coming or probably they decide in their heart, this will be the last time I am seeing this person. It hurts isn’t it? Then the next thing is they ghost you. This is what to do; when a guy/lady ghosts you after a date, its fine. All you need is just shrug to it off. When they texts you weeks later, still reply them. Until the time they play the ghosts card again, and then you can stop replying. By so doing, you will be able to filter guys who are genuinely interested in you.
After a Breakup, Do not Chase:
I used to chase and it was embarrassing. Not anymore. I recall telling a guy how he was making me look pathetic. And that was when I made up my mind never to case. It’s okay to cry, but do not go acting crazy after a breakup. No relationship is a fairy tale. Good relationships are simply made up of commitment, compassion, and forgiveness. That relationship you so much admire was created by two people who always show up for each other, even when it’s not convenient or necessarily enjoyable.
“Before having a relationship with someone else, have a relationship with yourself.”
Until you have developed and experimented in life, to truly know about the tiny intricate details of who you are, your likes/dislikes, the experiences you invest your time in, the type of person you are, where you are heading in life (life goals), sorry to burst your bubble here. You aren’t ready to find someone right for you.
Try best to relax and treat the date like meeting a friend, be friendly but not too much, cordial with a little humor and can provide a lot of social topic and knowledge to start off an educated conversation
Finally, always remember this; you will never be enough for the person who doesn’t love you. Your warmth will never stir the heart that does not beat for you. Your eyes will never see a glimpse into the soul that is searching for someone else. You may be hearing everything you want to hear, but you will not feel it in your bones.
Written by: JONATHAN JULIANA
Image: Stock photo
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