Is there really a secret to a happy relationship? Do you really want to find out? Then you are in the right place. why not read on and discover those secret yourself.
Relationships they say are more like white water rafting with two of you in a small craft, being battered by the thrashing current and the sharp rocks. To stay afloat and stop yourselves going overboard requires; communication, courage, composure and an unbroken concentration on the hazards downstream.
We all know how beautiful it is when two people have some things in common regarding how they like to spend their time. It becomes a plus if they share common values around religion or spirituality, around politics, the environment, and personal growth. It helps if they both eat junk food or both eat organic food. Everything becomes easier if both are neat or both are messy, if both are on time people or both are late people. Physical attraction is also quite important. It is great if they have common values around money and spending.
Now, there is a ‘But’. Do you know, a couple can have all of these and still not have a loving relationship if one element is missing? Without this essential ingredient, all the other wonderful attributes will not be enough to make the relationship work.
This essential ingredient is all about intention.
At a given moment, each of us is devoted to only one of two different intentions: to control or to learn. When our intention is to control, our deepest motivation is to have control over getting love, avoiding pain, and feeling safe. When our intention is to learn, our deepest motivation is to learn about being loving to ourselves and others.
Do you know that, the motivation to get love rather than being loving can create havoc within a relationship?
Basically every relationship has its own ups and downs, every story has a sad part but what keeps you going is love for the person and for the relationship you share.
Everyone wants to know the secret to great relationship; one thing I come to realize that can make any relationship great is to ‘stop trying to make people a carbon copy of yourself’
For an example,
If you enjoy watching sports or you love country music…you tend to push it down to other peoples throat! Some people get so passionate about their likes and without realizing it, they start getting their closed ones to like it!
Sometime we like to eat, drink, behave in certain ways & when others around us behave differently we judge them & taunt them or coldly ‘stay away” which is totally wrong. Stop making people a carbon copy, let them be
assume the other person knows what you’re thinking, or vice versa. Actually
don’t assume at all. You have to understanding accept that relationships will have
its ups and down. Also learn to compromise
for each other.
I read this somewhere “Happiness is not about not fighting, it’s about wanting to stay together while you’re fighting”.
Do you want a happy relationship? Here are some DO’s and DON’Ts;
- Do not judge your relationship with your past relationships: Never make your current partner suffer for the deeds of your ex-partner! It’s doesn’t mean that if you ex cheated on then the one you are with now will also cheating on you.
- Do not keep asking, is everything ok? When they say YES everything is okay, let them be. Stop asking continuously as it will piss them off. They will talk to you when they feel like talking, don’t try forcing them to speak.
- Stop trying to mind read. When they tell you all is fine. Take them by their words, do not start assuming you can read their mind. By doing so, you will create a bigger problem. If he/she yes then you have to believe that everything is totally fine. But if you feel something really weird, you can tell them; “I will be here whenever you are ready to talk” and if they do come around, do not be judgmental.
- Encourage open and honest communication from the start. The best time to this is when everything is going very well between you both. Not when things go wrong and you just go and say hey we need to talk.
- Do not take everything they say out loud to heart: People tend to say hurtful words whenever they are angry, he/she may say “I hate you” but never really mean it. They area just pissed at the moment with you, you just have to learn not to take such words to heart. When they eventually come around and apologize for the words they said, let it go.
- Let them be themselves no matter what: Do not try to change them, love them for who they are.
- Remember the reasons why they are with you. Ask if you don’t know. When they share their dreams and passion, encourage them, do not tell them it’s not possible.
- Don’t forget to text them sometimes. Flirt and get kinky only with that person.
- Talk about interesting things. When talking about your life stories, be honest about it. Share your interests (slowly) & listen to theirs
All these are what good people and good relationships have in common. They want to hear about their errors. They want to know about and fix their problems. Rather than avoiding, they encourage disagreement and challenge.
When you do this thing, the chances are; the stronger your relationship will be and the more welcoming they will be of your perspective. They will not blindly accept your position, but they will listen because they care about you.
Do you want to have a happy relationship? Work on it! Today make your body look brilliant, tomorrow surprise your partner with a wonderful compliment, the day after go out together to the highest point of your city. Set clearly your distance and daily steps.
Written by: Juliana Jonathan