Are You Chasing Them And Don’t Know It? (Pt 1)

Are you chasing that love interest of yours without knowing?

I know how frustrating it is to sit back and let the person you love drift away. Every single one of us instinctively wants to run after, grab them and thrown them to the ground, rather than let them get away. Deep down we know it is not ideal to be chasing after them, even our instinct often tell us to stop and yet it’s so hard not to. In this new modern era, it is easy for us to be confused:

In this article i will show you;

  • How to avoid chasing a person who has no interest for you.
  • When to know it’s time to stop the chase.

A lot people think that love is a passion that must be chased down often times very hard in order to achieve it, just like becoming an astronaut or a doctor. Often times we find themselves in relationships where the other person does the chasing, they cried then along the line things started changing. It felt like they didn’t care anymore even though they say otherwise. You start imagining, “I thought this person said he/she loves me, what happened to the love?”  The truth is there is a flipped of card.

Basically, I think there must be roughly three types of people:

  1. The Chasers,
  2. People who like to be chased,
  3. People who like it natural.

Being the “chaser” in a relationship has two sides.

First, it generally means you are proactive. You are the one who tends to reach out first with a text or a phone call. Perhaps it is you who most often suggests getting together. You display interest in the relationship through your actions.

Secondly, many people associate chasing with a hint of desperation. This comes down to why you are displaying so much interest, and how you are doing so. Ask yourself;

  • Do you feel like you need your partner in your life in order to be whole?
  • Are you afraid of being alone and of what would become of you if the relationship ended?
  • Do you feel like you are not good enough for someone to love you just for being you?
  • Do you find yourself compensating for poor self-esteem by putting tremendous energy into any relationship?

Most times I tell myself, the emotions this individual is putting in the pursuit can become much easier if they apply logic.  Most people will say when someone chases after you in shows they are interested but seriously, It isn’t very smart to chase someone who is not interested in you; I see it as a waste of your time. Why would you want to waste your time? To me, there is a difference between chasing someone and showing that you are interested and/or care about someone.

Chasing means, trying to reach out to a person or make them engage with you even though they have clearly showed you that they are not interested. Not many people actually say it, but everybody shows it in one way or another.

On the other hand,

Showing interest means, to put your feelings out there for that person, which in return makes you vulnerable, it means you telling that person overtly you are interested in them in an intimate non platonic way.

Most guys will argue that a lot of women like being chased. Well, that depends on the kind of relationship you want. I myself prefer to always be open and honest, and I’m not afraid to show someone I like them. If the guy truly likes me for who I am, I believe he will appreciate it. But if he is just playing the chasing game then he is in for a long ride.  

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I often tell people, if you express interest in someone, and they like you, great! But keep in mind that there should be more or less an equal amount of effort from both of you. If down the line they suddenly start running hot and cold, DO NOT CHASE THEM. Do not pressure them to explain what’s going on (gone are those days). There may be many reasons for that, including a possibility that you are in a relationship with someone with a narcissistic personality disorder (or something similar), and that itself is dangerous. Have you ever ask yourself why you keep chasing that individual despite them showing noninterest in you?

I will show you some tricks that works.

How to avoid chasing people who has no interest in you.

Most people will tell you the best way to go about it is to act like you don’t care, but the truth is, it’s difficult doing that.

Someone once told me, “The person that cares the least always wins because they have the control.”

Below are some ways to avoid chasing people who show non interest in you.

  • Learning to recognize the sign when you are doing too much chasing is the first step.  Do you have this sense of fulfillment? If not… stop.
  • You display interest, then step back and see if the person responds. If they are not willing to chase you back even a little, then it’s a bad idea to pursue them.
  • You avoid chasing people by learning the true meaning of happiness, meaning; you learn to become your own master knowing the fact that your happiness depends on you, you own it and feeling good in your own skin with your own company and enjoying your life in general.
  • You avoid chasing people by never allowing them to dictate your happiness or how you feel about yourself, when you capture the emotion to feel good in your own skin and when you capture the true meaning of happiness you will avoid seeking it from people and you will reach a high level of happiness.
  • Your body keeps score. It does not lie. If you feel like you are making excuses… then you need to take a step back.

To be continue…………………………

Written by: Juliana Jonathan

Photo credit: thesocialman.com

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I’m Julia Jonathan, I write on relationships, communication and lifestyle advice. I believe there’s always room to improve no matter how incredible you think you are. If you think so too, follow me to see more inspirational stories and articles

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