Mistake of Subjecting Your Heart to Foolish Choices.
When you are about making this lifetime decision, please use your head. Do not be beclouded by hearty choice. Do not be desperate to get married that you fail to see his short comings. You cannot change a grown man. You cannot change his character. If you decide to ignore the red flags you see while courting, they may burn your heart in marriage. My dear,
“Love is blind but marriage is an eye opener”
Please choose wisely.
Below are examples of red flag:
- You see a chronic womanizer thinking he will stop when he marry you. My dear, that’s a bad sign that you should quit that relationship.
- A man who talks to you any how now will move to emotional blackmail when you marry him. He should also give you some respect and breathing space.
It also takes the grace of God to change a man’s character, they are grownup and they can only change when they want to not because you. Come to think of it; imagine you noticed some strange things about him and probably you are even afraid to tell him about it, is it when you have are married to him (a time he will say he married you with my money) that you think you can freely challenge him?
If you cannot freely talk with the person you are currently dating and do those odd silly things around him/her then that person is not your friend. If you cannot learn things you don’t know, how will he be able to lead you as a man? How will she submit to you as a woman?
Mistake of Doing The Pursuing
This is a very wrong move. Ladies, forget the 21st century issue that they always make reference to. Did God not say a man will leave his father and mother and cling to his wife? Did God not take Eve to Adam when he was done creating her? Why are you taking yourself to a man? He will use you, emotionally, physically, drain you financially, and sexually then probably leave you pregnant at the option of abortions.
Ladies, be approachable but do not do the pursuing.
Mistake of Fighting Over a Man
If you know your worth, honestly you would not do this to yourself. It is demeaning to your personality when you reduce yourself to fighting another woman because of a man. A man who subjects you to fight over him does not have regard for you. Even if you win the fight and he ends up marrying you, he will still go back to the other woman begging and calling you unprintable names. Avoid that unnecessary fight.
Mistake of Not Asking the Right Questions
Stop asking the unnecessary questions and ask questions that are meaningful to your goals in life. Asking the right question will prevent the “if only I knew” phrase. Ask them about their upbringing, their childhood, if they have baby mama/daddy out there. Ask them about their family and their tradition. These are just a few questions you need to ask.
Mistake of Switching Roles
Ladies please remain feminine. Do not drag superiority or headship with him. It is his inheritance. Use your power of influence to get what you want. Stick to your God given assignments and stop lording over your man. Men love authority the same way God loves it. No man would want to come home and start living with a man-woman because you decided to switch roles
Just like flowers, if you grab the bud before it bloomed, you don’t get the flower therefore; stop worrying about being the kind of woman/man the person in question wants, instead you should be asking, “Does this person have the qualities, moral standards and personality I can be happy with long term. “
Written by: Juliana Jonathan
Photo credit: Blessing John