DEALING WITH HEART BREAK AND HOW TO AVOID LINKING IT TO YOUR SELF-WORTH

In each tear there is a lesson, it make you wiser than you know, it makes you stronger than u know, each tears brings you closer to your dreams, no mistake no heartbreak can take away what you meant to be. So says a song writer said; Hmmmmmmmmmm!

Once in a lifetime everyone faces such circumstances, sometimes it results into something worse, but only a strong person can get over the past. Heartbreak is one of the most depressed situations a person can ever face. Heartbreak is an experience to be felt. It can be agonizing in all ways possible. Be it mind body and spirit all blackened and turned inside out.

Every year on February 14th, there are many makeups and breakups happening around the world. Those who propose and find their love will feel happy. For some, those who carry a rose or a gift thinking that the person whom he/she loved is going to reciprocate, there might be a bit shock when the person does not reciprocate and reject. Yes, seriously it hurts. The pain of losing, shame of rejection and losing self-confidence because one person denied can hurt someone’s feelings more than a physical pain.

Heartbreak truly sucks. Unfortunately, there is no secret formula to overcome heartbreak. Not even the best Zen masters in the world can patch that up at all. How to deal with it is just to let it run its course until you realize that you’ve been through the entire day or weeks or however significantly long, and haven’t given a single thought to the one who broke your heart or just the hurtful feeling that it brings. After the first few days, don’t cry about it, don’t talk about it, don’t think about it. The truth is this;

You don’t have to forget who that person was to you but you just have to accept that they aren’t the same person anymore or you go about destroying everything you ever wanted because you could not digest the fact that you could not be with a particular person.

Below are question to ask yourself

  • You are suffering, is the other person suffering too? If not, then how does your suffering affect anything in the goddamn world?
  • You are trying to prove your loyalty by being in constant hurt. You have before now proved your loyalty, what did you get?
  • Do you want to be called stupid or someone who stood up and resurrected his life?
  • You love that person, well. That person does not love you, even better. So shouldn’t your purpose in life be making yourself better and more capable? Rather than nursing a heartbreak?

Heartbreaks are the greatest form of art. Dedicate yourself to a form of art rather than crying all alone. Nobody cares. If they did, you would be not having heartbreak.

Love is patient, love is kind, love never hurts, and if it does, it wipes away the tears. If the hurt never ends, it is not love, rather it is called stupidity.

Ultimately, we all know they say time will heal those seeping wounds, which will crystallize and form a scab. Eventually, the wound will heal. There will be a scar, but that is part of the scars of life. They make us more rugged, more resilient, that is for certain. Remember what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

Take the first week or so to let all your emotions out. Cry, scream, punch some stuff, and just let all of the negativity out of your system. I will advise you take a blank sheet of paper and write these down:

  • Positives of the relationship
  • Negatives of the relationship
  • What you did right
  • What you did wrong
  • What they did right
  • What they did wrong
  • Positives of ending the relationship
  • Negatives of ending the relationships
  • How I can improve for next time

The idea here is to paint a portrait of your relationship as truthfully as you possibly can. Give the heart a rest and allow time to heal it. Remember,

when you are affected by jaundice, you just allowed the liver rest and not taxing it with spicy and oily food.

In time it healed, isn’t it? Avoid rushing into rebound relationship and take things easy. Tell yourself and believe that the break will help the heart grow stronger to face life challenges better. And be happy for it is your birthright.

Always remember, the world is full of people who, no matter what you do, no matter what you try, will not like you. But there are also those who will love you. The ones who love you, they are your people. Never forget that you are one of a kind. Never forget that if there weren’t any need for you in all your uniqueness to be on this earth, you wouldn’t be here in the first place.

In as much as I know it will be difficult, I will want you to first of all forget them. Delete their number so that he/she will not be visible on Whatsapp. Try to indulge yourself in work. Stop thinking about them, because they care less if you do, I know it is difficult but like they say; “practice makes perfect” and never forget you thinking about them will only cause you pains. Do whatever it takes. Keep yourself busy, exercise, listen to music, write poetry, watch movies, help a needful person. Remember you have not lost anything, probably they are the one who lost the one who truly loves and cares about them.

Finally, be happy you got rid of the one who never loved you. Something precious is waiting for you. And as said they;

“It is better to marry the one who loves you, and not the one whom you love.

Nobody will come and help you. You will have to help yourself

 

Written by: JONATHAN JULIANA

Image:Stock Photo

 

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I’m Julia Jonathan, I write on relationships, communication and lifestyle advice. I believe there’s always room to improve no matter how incredible you think you are. If you think so too, follow me to see more inspirational stories and articles

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