Why do people want boyfriend/girlfriend benefits yet would not want a commitment? If you both are compatible with each other, what seek ye?Before now, this was not the norm, but these days It is one of the reverses. Most people do not believe in love, and others believe in the benefits of exploring.
It is the right of everybody to get what they want in life and from the relationship! A relationship can take many forms. But it has to be based on terms that both people agreed to. Did you know love without commitments is an empty feeling? Imagine an empty jar is placed right in front of you; the first thought upon seeing it will be, what will I put in it. Your mind will be filled with many thoughts and things. But it will get to a point when all those things will dwindle in your eyes. That’s how love without commitment is.
We all know that a good relationship requires efforts, feelings, time, and understanding, and that is something most people cannot or are not ready to give or invest their time on. They prefer getting the relationship benefits without committing to the relationship itself. A lot of people prefer to get the reward than work to gain it. They are looking for an easy piece; rather than a whole relationship. This set of persons see being in a relationship as a difficult task. Relationships require a significant amount of self-work, and they are not ready Instead, they would rather want someone who will make it easy for them to skip the responsibility of commitment and get directly to the parts of being in a relationship that satisfies them the most.
A person who wants a boyfriend/girlfriend benefit without any commitment will expect you to be there in their troubles, but they are never there for you. You will give them time and money, and they never pay you back or reciprocate it. They will compare your relationship to their previous relationships then act out because the previous relationship was not good. If the giver expects more out of the relationship, and finally calls it off, the settler will now feel bad, and most times even guilty. I have come to realize that; people who enjoy giving, helping, and pleasing others often attract people who are takers. That does not mean the people are not good. It only means that such people do not align in their choices relationship go.
Often, we have come across people who do not want to invest their time getting to know a person or be committed to a relationship. They want to reap physical, financial, and social benefits without actually being in a relationship. For them, it is all about instant gratification, selfishness, and not wanting anything other than their needs met. For them, they only want something that is exactly like staying in a luxurious hotel room where you invest once, and you do not have to be liable after that. You can checkout anytime though the hotel staff might feel bad that their billing meter was cut short. But you do not have any regrets about leaving them midway. They believe consenting adults like themselves can decide on being friends with sexual benefits without any commitments or responsibilities. It frees them up to focus on their careers or other things since they did not invest in the relationship.
That is why it is wise not to get sexual until you know you are on the same page as the other who holds your interest. If you want just a relationship, then becoming connected sexually without clarifying the definition, boundaries, and agreement of the other person in the relationship, it simply means that; your words and actions are not in line with each other. In such confusing cases, people will judge you based on your decision.
Here are reasons why people prefer a boyfriend/girlfriend benefit without commitment in a relationship:
- They are not ready nor do they want a fully committed relationship.
- They are getting the benefits without having to commit and have been for some time.
- They do not want to put any energy into your feelings.
- They do not want to spend time with you.
- They do not want to do the things that you like.
- They do not want to make space for you in their lives.
- They do not want to give up the option of dating other people
- They want sex without a commitment
- They want sex without a mental connection
- They desire sex without an emotional connection
- They do not desire a spiritual connection.
- They do not wish to bond with you
- They wouldn’t want to procreate a child with you
- They don’t see a future with someone like you
A lot of people have too much on their plate to devote themselves to a relationship! They do still crave companionship and sex. Others are just so self-centered. Some believe that a relationship would tie them down and limit their options!
It is the right of everybody to get what they want in life and from a relationship. If you expect benefits of relationships only in relationships, search for the partner who wants the same. Do not try to understand people who want different things. It is their life and their vision; it has nothing to do with you.
Create a strong sense of identity for yourself and standards of behavior. Most people only think about looks, which certainly is a factor, but it is more important to establish a standard that you are prepared to accept.
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Written by: Juliana Jonathan
Photo credit: Getty Image