How to Distinguish Real People From Cat- fishers On The Internet Dating.

Are you tired of being cat-fished online.

Online dating is a game 80% of the internet users indulge in. Most times a lot of success stories are recorded and also some end tragically. Every now and then we read stories of how people lost their life and properties daily to internet romance this has made people to believe that online love is a SCAM. Years back, while having a discussion with a friend I met on line, he said:

Never believe everything you read or see online”

Strange as it may seem, it is a simple truth. You will definitely see hot ladies, you will see cute guys but that’s exactly what they want you to see. No one will put up a picture or a profile of himself/herself living in a slum rather they pick a fake rich identity. This brings the question; how can we differentiate a fake internet romance from the genuine one?

Ever heard of the word,”CATFISH”?

According to wiki.Cat-fishing is a type of deceptive activity where a person creates a sock puppet social networking presence, or fake identity on a social network account, usually targeting a specific victim for deception.

The reason why most online dating site users are cat fishers is this; often they just got out of a bad relationship and thought that the best way to get over there heartbreak was to have some fun with no strings attached.

Most dating site users enjoy cat-fishing people because of the attention they enjoy, it last for a long time till these women/men wanted to meet in person or get see them on a webcam. Then the real game begins most time they have to ghost and pretend like they got kidnapped by aliens and ignore their messages.

If someone is cat-fishing, they are telling you that they don’t think that who they are is good enough to find someone. Plus, they have started off the interaction with lying. No one is EVER going to be happy with a bait and switch. It’s not like someone is going to meet the person and suddenly decided, “You know, they’re not who they said they were, but let’s give them a chance!”

Cat fishers are always smooth talkers. They tell you what you want to hear and you find yourself falling hopelessly in love with them.

For instance;

If someone tells me that they are sent out of the state or the country for work a lot, that is also a clue that this person is not local. Regardless of what they claim. Next, I’d try to get this person to show their face via Skype or Face-time. If they refuse, they have something to hide. They will use excuses that they don’t have access to that technology right now for whatever reason.

If I suspect I’m being cat-fished I usually tell them that I think they are cat-fishing me. Most times, they just disappear. If I get a response back, I do not engage in conversation with them or I just ignore it.

Listen, if someone looks too perfect. Like a model. Those are typically bots or scammers searching for men/women. For most woman, their victims are typically the average guy. They won’t chat on the phone or meet up and they’ll sometimes ask for money, too. Those are called romance scammers and they’re everywhere.

This should be enough to warn you that something is not right and to run in the other direction. But sometimes we may need more poof.


I have also found the following things that don’t sound on the level if they are in conjunction with the things I mentioned above.

  1. They say they are widowed. (I’m not sure why they say this)
  2. They get very serious very fast.
  3. They will respond to my messages at weird hours of the day and night. But they always have a reason or excuse for this.
  4. They just seem to good to be true. And their pictures are always model worthy.
  5. Finally, they ask for money. I have never gotten this far in the scam before but I know people who have.

This last red flag does not have to be in conjunction with the first 3 paragraphs above. This one is stand alone. If anyone asks you for money and you have never met them before…run in the opposite direction.


  • Profile pic with no face AND poor or nonexistent profile description
  • Profile pic too attractive to need online dating AND poor or nonexistent profile description
  • Profile pic professionally shot (looks like a model) and same as above
  • Email or number phone on profile pic (either an escort or a scammer)
  • After match: absence of replies, ambiguous replies, always escapes personal questions or answers contradictory.

Cat fisher are smart, way smarter than you but when you look closely, there’s always a lope-hole in their conversation or their profile. Things don’t just add up. Some are so good that they can avoid the points listed above.

Here are some other points to help you identify them:

  • They refuse to give their Facebook/social after a decent amount of conversation (if they ask too soon for yours they could be identity thieves or just very insecure people)
  • They refuse to speak to the phone, messenger, whatsApp etc.
  • They refuse to meet in person gives ridiculous excuses.
  • They also refuses to video chat or take a selfie
  • They starts asking you to buy them stuff because they misplaced their wallet, their card got blocked etc
  • They would text you ALL DAY LONG starting early in the morning until late at night. But this person was supposed to have a successful career. Who has time to text all day long and still get their work done?

Cat-fisher These things happen all the time, don’t be prejudiced but at the same time trust no one. Use your brain. Read the signs carefully and stay away from people who can’t give you straight answers, refuse to meet you in person and ask you to help them out financially without meeting you first at least.



Image: Stock photo

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I’m Julia Jonathan, I write on relationships, communication and lifestyle advice. I believe there’s always room to improve no matter how incredible you think you are. If you think so too, follow me to see more inspirational stories and articles

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