Balancing truth, love and power, how possible is that? I remember asking a friend this question and he told me it’s not possible that one will suffer.
Many people struggle with this question daily, and it is a constant battle.
Balance is more like dynamic instability. When a human walks he /she do so by falling forwards. At each moment he/she is actually off balance, falling forwards, but combined with movement and constant adjustment, the overall result is balance. It is also similar to the way a sailor learns to walk on the deck of a ship on a high seas. You roll with the ship. Eventually it becomes automatic.
The truth is this, in order to find balance of the three listed items; it begins with determining what’s your priorities truly are. Most people will rather say “YES” to so many good things to the extent of not having the energy to put into that one great thing.
“Everybody needs a balance in today’s fast-paced world”?
When you talk about balancing truth in relationship,, what sorts of truths are we talking about? Often times the truths people are itching to speak are harsh criticisms of other people. But if one wishes to be a speaker of truths, they ought to first turn the harsh spotlight of truth upon themselves, and speak those harsh truths about themselves. I believe one of the most successful ways to be honest is to always choose your words wisely, be sincere, compassionate and as straight forward as you can. Bear in mind that; If you, telling the truth would deeply hurt the other person just to make yourself feel clean, or will you rather it destroy the relationship that you want to keep? What value would it create if you tell something hurtful to them? What value would it create to keep it to yourself?
Power in a relationship comes from how each person in the relationship sees themselves and their partner. Often times, the one with more power has the power because they are willing to fight unfair, do and say things the other isn’t willing to do.
A friend told me;
The best way to control a man is be what he cannot live without, which is a woman that respects him as a man. It is the woman who is behind a strong man that is in control. Not someone who wishes to compete with him. I’m not saying you should be naively submissive, NO!
Most people when in relationship act like RUGS. Rugs have no control over who walks over them, or when they walk over them, or if they wipe their feet on them.
In order to balance power in a relationship, the first thing to do is, set boundaries. One funny thing about boundaries is; you aren’t guaranteed that your partner will accept them. You must also understand that, it is difficult to introduce boundaries to a relationship that has not had them.
“Love is one’s emotional response to one’s Infinite Self. To an extent, love and power go hand in hand. “Love is never free from the influence of power and may be corrupted by it. Therefore, Love and power can be mutually exclusive.
A love relationship can only be achieved through mutual choice, which demands that both participants be sovereign subjects. Even if someone of high status falls in love with someone of low status, the way they are connected is the power of their love.
The first rule of human love relationships is; never lie about your feelings or intentions because you will hurt the other person if you do. And you just never know how deeply they are going to be hurt. Learn how to discuss things which may hurt another person, tactfully, and thoughtfully.
Is it possible to maintain a balance?
Maintaining balance is about paying attention to all three of those and keeping them in balance. In other words, creating a balance for the three listed items does not involve giving equal energy to all areas, but determining which area or areas need the most attention at that time. You need to be willing to let some things go in order to focus on what is truly important. But never ignore one area completely or you will probably regret it in the future. While you are at it;
You also have to accept that being off balance is the normal state and adjust to it. Partners, children, work, life, health love, money, power and everything else all work to keep you permanently off-balance. Do not fight that or fret about it. Just accept it as normal and learn to adjust to it until you are almost floating. Learn to let go of things.
Take for instance, do you know;
- It is not hard to be happy when you have nobody to please? This means you living on your own terms and conditions not because you don’t want Tim to get upset.
- It is not hard to have stress less life if you don’t have to care about anyone, meaning you have no children, spouse boss, mortgage, or rent to worry about.
- It is not hard to be very satisfied if all you do is spend, but not earning. The opposites of each are hard, stressful, painful and sometimes depressing.
But! That is what the life is. It is carrying your rock uphill. Not doing it is easy, but that means not living.
Do you know, you can be more on track by respecting others and developing your own wisdom and compassion? The keyword is efficiency. And having a system and relying on “the power of habit” will help one be efficient.
You need to take a step back regularly and think about the big picture. What are you trying to achieve? What things are you happy to say “no” to? (You need to say no to a lot of things to achieve the few that matter).
Have courage to be who you are by not hurting or exercising your power over others. Start advocating their happiness. Let your inner wisdom guide you.
Written by; Juliana Jonathan.