Is There Really Someone for Everyone?

I often hear people say there is someone out there for everyone, and most time, I wonder how true that statement is. The idea itself is absurd. We all believe that someday, someone is going to look at you with a light in their eyes, and then there will be a spark you’ve never seen, they’ll look at you like you’re everything they’ve been looking for their entire lives. Isn’t that wonderful?

I’m sorry to burst your bobbles; the idea is almost a tautology. Do not get me wrong, I believe in love, and people who say that they meet their soul mate are all people who are lucky to meet another who is similar.

The truth is, if you are happy with someone and spend your lives together then that’s your someone. But it doesn’t mean that if things don’t work out or one of you passes away that you are done. There’s another someone you can go and find. The idea that there’s only one is silly and limiting.

For instance;

It is believed that the number of females is two times the number of males in the world. So, if every male has a female what becomes of the rest females?

The truth is; there are no guaranties, but you can work towards getting that significant other you crave so much for.

Here is an example;

If you throw a basketball at a hoop, it might go through or it might not, depending on your skill, the distance, the force of the wind, and other factors. If you throw ten basketballs, your chances of dunking one get better, but it’s possible you will miss each time. If you spend years practicing, you are even more likely to dunk, but it’s still possible you might miss.

If you do, it’s not because some evil forces wants you to fail. And if you happen to get the ball through the hoop, it’s not because somebody up there loves you. Either way, it’s because you are doing something with various odds of happening or not happening, odds that you can tip in your favor by practice and persistence.

We all are just destined to search endlessly for that someone. Funny enough, “there is someone for everyone” is a phrase you will always hear from someone/people who are tired of listening to you lament of your broken heart. There is not a person out there for everyone. The reason people believe in this thought is because, it is essentially the mind’s play to reduce the emotional setback that will come when reality strikes.

There is someone for everyone is a pernicious lie that should be denounced every single time it is uttered. I have known far too many men and women who have felt inadequate for not having a partner. And as a result they have not only settled for someone that they do not love, but they have resigned themselves to a painful existence of slowly dying inside each and every day.

Someone once wrote; ladies settle for men who are ready and not for men who they love.

Well, not everyone will find their “significant other” that’s just a fact. Some people die virgins, never having had a girlfriend/boyfriend. Some people end up this way because they have no interest in romantic relationships. Others end up this way because they lack the social skills or attractiveness to find someone to be with.  Some have their standards set so high that no one will ever be good enough for them and they turn away all realistic possibilities.

Is there really someone for everyone?

Saying yes is more a like technical answer.  Yes! There is.  You just need to understand that that someone is not an ‘’other’’, it is you.  No one out there is specifically for you, no one was created special to match you, no one is your missing piece, and no one is your other half. You are one person and it is not unreasonable to say you might continue being alone and you will still be content if you felt like it. You are not a fragment of a whole, but a whole in and of yourself.

Once you come to the understanding that the “real you” not the “ego you” is the one you are looking for to love, then ‘’others’’ will come into your sphere to attempt to share in your love, and then there will be numerous people to select from for your ‘’someone’’. You have to put yourself there; the key is to make yourself as desirable as possible. What I mean is to work on self-improvement. But while doing that, do not let it consume you to be a certain person to be universally attractive. But just do what you can to be the best version of the natural you.

Yes “There are plenty of fish in the sea, but they don’t love you either!” You will meet someone who will understand, just like he/she’ll understand you. You will be the perfect match for them. Likewise, they will be the perfect match for you. The idea that there’s only one, that’s what’s false

In life we never meet anyone by coincidence, they are assigned to teach you something; some to guide you, some to fight with you, some to stay in your lives for the whole time etc, but there are always lessons to learn from it! There are several ways be put yourself out there while loving yourself such as;

  • Expand your social network: e.g Like a church, (if you are a believer) if not there are different venues you can use to do so such as; joining a social group.
  • Keep cultivating yourself as a person:  Finish your studies at a college level if you have not done so, work on your career, read books etc.
  • Take care of yourself:  Eat healthy, walk a couple of miles 3 days a week, keep yourself groomed, take a shower every day, keep your place tidy and so on).

Trust me, finding a significant other requires a lot of work, but is something that you should be doing with pleasure, because it is about you. If you do not love yourself, who else will? Having said, you should like your chances a little bit better. Having said that;

Is there really someone for everyone?  I guess it depends on what you are willing to settle for.

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I’m Julia Jonathan, I write on relationships, communication and lifestyle advice. I believe there’s always room to improve no matter how incredible you think you are. If you think so too, follow me to see more inspirational stories and articles

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