Ladies, there are many things we should not do in relationship. This is based on my own experience since I am presently in a relationship. Mine is a long distance relationship and working this out itself is a huge challenge; miscommunications are more common and often small fights turn really nasty because of the thousand miles that separate us.
Well, there things we must not indulge in depending on the party’s persons involved and what their expectations from each other are but the fundamentals suggest; be it a girl or a boy, both have to think from each other perspectives and should remain ready to sacrifice their dominance to make a relationship successful. If one of the spouse starts to thinking, “why is he not acting in accordance to me? why is he behaving differently?
When this “why” factor comes in between the both, the relationship will start having issues and I trust you don’t want that?
So, over the years (and counting hopefully), I have learnt certain things that are toxic to relationship, there are more to learn and know, but here’s my top “NEVER DO” in a relationship:
The first on my list is;
- Displaying of too much emotions: Never let a man know you love him. (I was a victim of this and I regret allowing him see my weakness). I know this can be difficult most especially if you are monogamous in nature (like me). When you are with your man, you want the world to know, you want to show him off to people around you which is not a bad idea but some men take advantage of such and abuse your trust. Do not let a man know you are madly in love with him, never let him know you cannot do without him, he will take you for granted, cheat on you or do anything he feels because after all, you love him so much, you are the one who is in love with him. The day you complain about his nonchalant attitude, he starts complain of you being a nag and then takes a walk.
- Ladies, never cry, stress or die over a boyfriend, he is not your husband for God sake. Boyfriend is not a legally accepted man, so why take poisonous substance because he broke your heart? He never really loves you. Let him go.
- Stop being dominant or dictatorial over other person. I know some men love their women to be dominant while some women are just like that in nature, they always want their voice and opinion to be the only one heard. It’s not done. Even a weak man will not want you rubbing his weakness on his face so try not to be that kind of lady.
- Boasting about yourself. A lot of ladies are guilty of this. You hear them say things like this, I own this, I have this, I am this” come on, yes! you have the education, social presence, money, fame etc, need I remind you, you are not the first to attain such and you definitely will not be the last? There is a saying, pride goes before a fall” even the God hates the proud. So learn to comport yourself
- Not giving enough respect for personal space and freedom: when a man tells you I need space, I want to be left alone for now, stop reading unnecessary meaning to it. The world itself is difficult stop making it more complicated with unnecessary argument…. They say respect is reciprocal, so respect his space. You may say we are in these together, it should always be us, us, us no… there are times you want to be left alone so give him that space when he asks for it.
- Do not bad mouth each other when you are angry: Avoid unnecessary argument. You can never take back your words and sometimes words are enough to break a relationship. Anger sometimes blind you. If you have any misunderstanding tell that to your partner and clear it.
- Never feel sad or stay depressed if someone else prefers another lady over you. It does not something is wrong with you; it simply means you were never meant to be together
- Do not try to force yourself on a man, it’s like teaching a pig how to appreciate beauty and cleanliness. Do not force him, let him go. Do not waste your valuable time trying to convince or beg someone to love you, someone out there is sinking deeply to love you but you are busy chasing broken dreams.
- Ladies, give yourself some respect, you must let your man know you can survive without his money. stop requesting for call card, money for hair or cloths from him constantly. Find a source of income and he will respect you.
- Stop proving you are only good for sex and dating and not good for marriage. Men are smart and wise when it comes to choosing a marriage partner.
- Trust the person but don’t trust blindly.
- Never take the relationship for granted.
- Being so critical about yourself or other person.
- Stop looking at everything about relationship with suspicion
- Always wanting to seek attention from other person.\
- Do not feel the world is coming to an end when a man decided to walk away from you. Do not beg him to stay because when you do, you will continue to beg him to stay, some even have a way of telling you after all I was about leaving but you begged me to stay. Don beg, you are too precious to beg for love sister, he will treat you like trash.
Do not base your self-esteem on having a man love you. I want you to stop having the thoughts that any man will make you happy. It is something you needs to do for yourself. Do not put your boyfriend or spouse’s needs before your needs. Never choose a man because he’s “hot”, “rich”, or popular. Never choose a man because does drugs or who drinks more than one alcoholic drink per day, the who treats people or animals rudely or cruelly, or makes fun of them.
Written by Juliana Jonathan
Photo Credit: Stock Stutter