People often ask; how safe is looking for love online? Most times, when I read the sad news of online dating gone wrong or when I watch documentaries on crime, I feel sad at the rate people lose their lives in the process of searching for love. How safe is it, trusting a total stranger? 

No doubt, some people have met the love of their lives online, and no matter how you scream the dangers of online dating, the truth is; online dating is here to stay, and there are no two ways about it. Daily people set up websites and applications that have to do with online dating, and these days, there are free platforms such as; AfroIntroduction, Cupid, Badoo, Tinder and a lot of other sites, where you do not get to pay a dine before you can chat with people although; these websites have rules you need to comply with but are the rules enough to keep one safe?

One thing with online dating is that; the percentage of people with mental health issues is considerably high. Some people with mental health issues do not even know they have such challenges. There are also those with; borderline and bipolar. These are the most common mental illnesses amongst the female population, and among the male population, bipolar and narcissist.

Dating sites are the favorite hunting grounds of the personality-disordered individual seeking sex or narcissistic supply. Most guys on dating sites are narcissists, looking for ego validation, guys looking for charitable prostitution, and women who keep making the same mistake or are looking for a free meal and some ladies, looking for free tickets and financial assistance (knowing fully well they do not want a relationship with that individual). These predators online are on the lookout for lonely and vulnerable people. Please, permit me to say this; women face different dangers and risks than the male folks.

For instance;

There is usually a good reason why some men have to import a bride from another country. It usually has to do with them wanting to control the woman in a way no local woman would tolerate. And since you would be far away from friends and family, it makes you very vulnerable, and that is a safety concern since most women are vulnerable when they are with a strong man.

I often ask myself; when can they feel safe with this person, and when might some surprising dirty little traits appear? Like anger management issues, not yet managed. Some other things that call for concern are the financial concerns, about getting billed by some Nigerian prince who declares his love at first sight, or some variation. And then the stalker concerns, not to be shrugged off. I have read a lot of tales on that.

Did you know; predators and lowlifes are more common on free online dating sites? This is a good reason never to let down your guard even on paid sites. Another big deal for women is; the guys who declare they are single but are married, living with a woman or in an exclusive relationship already.

You may want to read.. Signs your Internet Attraction is a Fraud.

People go as far as lying while setting up a profile, giving you an eye-catching profile (just like your cv) that can be easy to get your attention. Forgive me; I may have watched too many ID (investigative discovery), shows but you do not know who may be misrepresented by the profile.

I have had some online dates but never really get to meet them in person, and I must confess that; the biggest dangers to my safety did not come from people registered on a dating app or site. No! It came from people who sneakily approached me through social media. Yes! I had a bad experience, and I am still thankful I came out of it alive.

In a perfect world, dating someone new is exciting and fun. There is a potential of it moving from courtship or possibly for the individual to meet a soul mate. However, this requires opening up and spending time together. But online dating eliminates the ability to get to know and casually observe people beforehand, which may be a part of your circle of friends or gives you a chance to observe how they interact with other people around them.

Some people are clueless when they try online dating and do things that put them at risk. The stuff people have done that are bad ideas are things like meeting for a first date at an obscure bar or blind date’s house.

Regardless of whom you are, if you are one of those looking for the love of your life online or for a short fun time with a new friendly face. It could also be a simple one-night stand, have it in mind that, the danger there is; it is easier to hide one’s true motive and personal flaws online than it is to do so when you meet through a more traditional medium.

Meeting someone through a friends or colleagues you know gives you an edge to know certain things about them before you get too close. And because they know you know people who know them, in more cases than not, they will think twice before doing something awful to you because it would too easily come back to bite them. People lie a lot on the internet; most women lie about their age, not just that but a whole lot of things most especially if they are young and good-looking, you will hardly get a few of these visual clues.

Finally,

The sad thing about online dating is; you can do everything right and still come out worse than you went in.

What are your takes on online dating? Have you ever had one before? How was it?

Share your ideas in the comment section.

Written by Julia Jonathan

By admin

I’m Julia Jonathan, I write on relationships, communication and lifestyle advice. I believe there’s always room to improve no matter how incredible you think you are. If you think so too, follow me to see more inspirational stories and articles

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