Love Too Deep, Too Fast Can Bring Relationship Problems.

Is there any such thing as loving too much?

Love is a word with infinite definition. It grows and dies in someone’s heart that is unbeknown to the beholder. It has an invincible and perpetual power that confuses human. It is the best gift in life in the world that makes us all alive and feel worth living. Love is pure and incorrigible. There is no way to tame love without changing it into something else.

Someone once told me;

It’s either you love, or you don’t. There’s no in-between. I have been told many times that I get attached too quickly and then I care too much. But is it wrong to pour an extensive amount of love into the people I really care about? After all, people are meant to be loved. Moreover, loving too much is not weakness. Love is strength. It makes you strong, in every single way. Love never hurts so they say but when you love the wrong person too much, it hurts; and real bad.

I often tell people not to blame love. We are the ones who give people the power to destroy us and also allow them control us. If you love someone and it’s hurting you, don’t you think it’s time you mend the way you love them?

I’ve come to realize that more often than not, those that love too much are the ones who get hurt more. They care too much and give way so much of themselves when they love. When you love too much, the other person may take you for granted; they may even abuse you and they will definitely hold more power in a relationship. But then, you wouldn’t care about any of these, because you don’t know how to love less.

Here comes the question once again; Is it possible for someone love too much? Yes, someone can love too much. How?  You may want to know; we all know Excess of anything is injurious and this fact is imperishable. Take for instance a cell phone;

Cell Phone undoubtedly is an amazingly helpful and entertaining invention. It helps you to come closer to people and aids in building relations, business, trade, commerce, and more.

However, excess use of Cell Phone has changed the dilemma. Excess use or too much use of cell phone leads to wastage of time, distraction, wrong deeds, improper use of internet, decreased productivity, increased expenditures, weak eyes, stressed ears and brain, and some more ailments or negative effects.

Similarly, too much love may lead to negative effects or ailments. When you allow someone cross or eliminate your boundaries consistently because you love them too much, then with time, you become a shadow of that other person, and you lose yourself and your self-respect.

Loving someone is beautiful only if you do not expect too much in return. If you do expect someone to love you as much as you give, then expect disappointment and hurt. There are people who give, give, give and then get upset if they don’t get something in return. This is usually indicative of the anxious-preoccupied attachment relationship coping mechanism.

A person will go overboard and give too much too soon which masquerades as love, but in reality it’s a manipulation for getting validation from the other person. This could be their self-esteem through a relationship, commitment/marriage etc. It comes down to genuine unconditional love vs. tough love as a way to get one’s self-esteem from another person.

Can love be too much? Of course it can,

As humans, we are way more emotional than need to be actually practical. Remember! The moment you start detaching from other things in your life and start focusing on just one “identity”, that is the moment all your thoughts become clouded with just one being and you start losing your brain’s actual capacity to process other bits of information.


Too much love in most cases never directly destroys a relationship. It rather results into factors like;

  1. Too much expectations/demands.
  2. Too much jealousy.
  3. Too much insecurity.
  4. Too much attention.

Do you know you CAN smother and scare away someone with too much “love” if they don’t want it or if you just met?

For instance;

I once met a guy who was all over me, he calls to check on me, visit, text and buy gifts regularly. At first I was enjoying the attention but then it started to suffocate me. Then I asked myself; Does he even care at all what I’m doing, what I’m thinking, or what I’m saying? Is he even of sound mind? Or he just give and give what i don’t even want, or ask, or warrant? Where is me in all this? Should i do the same? I’m not feeling it right now”. With all these thoughts and emotions running through my mind, I became scared of the kind of love. At a point, I could not bear it anymore and I had to let go of the relationship.

People would kill to be in that shoe but I have worn the shoe and I can tell you, you really do not want to. Do you know people are so used to mediocrity in relationships that they cannot even distinguish what is good or bad?

Negative Parts of Excessive love are;

  1. It is suffocating.
  2. If one partner has to be attached, literally by 24/7 affection, it is enough to make anyone feel anxious.
  3. Loving them too much also makes it unhealthy and will destroy the relationship
  4. Loving someone too much is not giving some of that love towards yourself and looked after you as well.
  5. Too much love is no less than a poison it kills you.

In conclusion;

If you are feeling it’s too much or too less love then that love is associated with some thought (expectation, doubt, attachment etc) I’m I asking you not to love? No! You can love a person but you should not make him/her everything. There should be balance of everything. When you love people with all your heart it makes you invincible. Love is beautiful and divine. Life is too short to hold back your love. Keep loving, Keep healing and Keep growing



I’m Julia Jonathan, I write on relationships, communication and lifestyle advice. I believe there’s always room to improve no matter how incredible you think you are. If you think so too, follow me to see more inspirational stories and articles

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