Nagging: A Dysfunctional Communication Pattern in Relationships.

Today’s topic is a sensitive topic that we might have experienced or seen other’s experiencing it presently in their relationships; NAGGING.

What is does it mean to NAG?

To nag means to repeat commands/criticisms; that is to repeat the same words over and over again. When you are nagging you are sure to annoy someone. Often, the male folks are quick to say woman nag a lot. Ladies, have you ever met or dated a guy that nags? I bet you do not want to encounter such. I’d say the phrase, “what a woman can do, a man can do it better” should be used here… lol 

Wives/girlfriends are frequently accused of nagging but do you also know that domineering husbands/boyfriends are also sometimes guilty of nagging?

Come to think of it; Why do people nag? 

  • People often nag when they get tired of repeating the same instruction or ideas over and over. 
  • People nag when they feel they are being taken for-granted.
  • People nag when their set expectation is different from the outcome they see.

Nagging is common in all relationship not only specific to married couple. People often say, when you love the person more, then you will neglect his/her negative behavior as your eyes & mind can only see his/her positive side and you tend to ignore the negative side.

Most people who nag got the dysfunctional communication habits they picked up somewhere and some are learned at a very early age from their parents. Most parents got their way out by controlling to the maximum, which could be about mild manipulation, lazy problem solving skill or lack of in-dependency.

Often times, nagging can actually help to a point of getting a person to obtain certain goals, but overall, nagging causes resentment and are often a primary cause of relationships breaking up or unhealthy relationships lingering way beyond their appropriate lifespan.

Do you know nagging is yet another marriage wrecker?

Recently, I discovered that nagging, if approach with LOVE and GRACE, especially when dealing with an intimate relationship such as a spouse, things will be much easier to confront and deal with. You must be gentle, and also forgiving.

How do I deal with a nagging mate/spouse?

Have you ever asked yourself, why your partner nags at you? Maybe he\she does feels that you are not responsible and committed. This makes him\her pester you with repetitive words which irritate you. If your partner is unhappy, kindly ask him/her why. He/ She may have another underlying reason. 

On that fact, women especially tend to bottle feelings up then explode all at once. So is advisable, if there’s an underlying reason, find out what it is.
Let them know that the nagging is backfiring and will only cause you to feel resentment towards him/her and that is not what you want to happen neither does he/she for the sake of the relationship. Ask him/her to have more faith in you, and you better hold up your end of the deal too for him/her. If you have a problem then talk about it to him/her, do not let resentment creep in.


It is quite difficult to get a partner to stop nagging; it requires tolerance and a combination of psychological remedies. Another thing that perhaps is also important is EMPATHY the ability to sense ones emotions or feelings. Literally, it can be explained as the respect a person can have for another person, even if that person seems irrationally, rude, or self-centered. 

Is there a way of dealing with people who see nagging as a hobby? I’d say,Yes!

The best way of dealing with argumentative or nagging people is just to listen with an open mind and not judge, show compassion to their circumstances or complaints.

Do you know, listening with sincerity goes a long way?

Most times people who nag do not really know they are nagging, trust me; I’ve been there. Someone may ask;  “How do I stop my wife/girlfriend from nagging me?”

First and foremost, you must know the root of the problem before searching for solution. Do you know why women nag their spouses?

Because they care and their spouses are engaging in self-destructive behavior or their spouses are neglecting the household and failing to be considerate and supportive partners, or their spouses are being irresponsible, or a combination of all of the above.
So take a good hard look in the mirror and ask yourself one key question:

What kind of a spouse are you?

Sometimes the partner who complains about nagging has attitudes they also have to check.
Continual nagging is an anxiety-provoking and a highly ineffective way to make yourself heard. So basically, If you find yourself nagging at all time, then you should reconsider your circumstance and find a suitable way to get out of it and most likely if it is an habit, you have to find a way to cut out. 

Peace is priceless! Never forget that.

Written By: Juliana Jonathan

Photo Credit: Stock Photo




I’m Julia Jonathan, I write on relationships, communication and lifestyle advice. I believe there’s always room to improve no matter how incredible you think you are. If you think so too, follow me to see more inspirational stories and articles

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