REBOUND RELATIONSHIPS: WHAT IT FEELS LIKE AND WHY PEOPLE GO INTO IT. (PT 1)

Have you ever been with someone you truly loved and thought that they felt the same? Someone you never ever felt in your wildest dream would want to be without you, was it not supposed to last forever? Why do people use the word rebound in relationship?

We will be looking at the above topic and also all there is to know in a rebound relationship.

First and foremost, the word rebound means; to bounce back through the air after hitting something hard. It also means to recover in value, amount, or strength after a decrease or decline.

Therefore: A rebound relationship is one where you intentionally/unintentionally leave your partner or breakup with your partner within and go for somebody else.  It is also a means of using someone to recover from hurts or a broken relationship. Most times it happens intentionally and at times, you just find yourself in it.  

These kinds of relationships rarely work out, especially if this person has a history of doing this in the past. When you engage in a rebound relationship, it is like using a sleeping pill or a pain killer. You are only using it to calm your nerves at the moment but your mind is always thinking about your ex. Before now, you are always together, handing out, texting, calling etc. but now you have a lot of time on your hands, now that that the relationship is on longer there, you feel hurt so, you quickly get into some sort of relationship with someone you are attracted to purely physically. You really do not care about their intellect level, their financial stability, their job etc. All you care about is they are hot and they flatter you.

Do you know after a break up, your self-esteem is somehow low even if you were the one who called it off? You are vulnerable and so, anyone who comes along and tells you that you look sexy and they desire you, you go for it. Since it was based on physical attraction, you might find yourself seething with sexual desire where other aspects of your relationship are ignored.

A rebound is most likely going to be very surface-y and superficial. There will be lots of movie time, quick dinners, and lots of making out time. Even if your rebound wants a bit more of this relationship, you might find yourself not caring but just satisfying your low self-esteem through sexual aspect.

Funny enough; when you go home, you realize that this person means absolutely nothing to you, you are only using them, deep down you know you are doing the wrong thing and, you might be hurting them but you brush it off forcefully, and next day, you meet them again and then again, you keep doing it because of that satisfaction it gives you as soon as you indulge in it.

Rebounds may seem like real love but it is not. One thing you must never do is to mistake passion for real love. Passion goes away after a few fights. It may even last for years and you become miserable for like half of it. The funny part is when you  finally loved the rebound for real, most times it will be too late because they gone to be with another.

One thing I discovered is that; people who quickly jump from relationship to relationship are afraid of being alone, suffer from low self-esteem and lack confidence in themselves and, they also carry all the old baggage into the new relationships instead of fixing them. The truth is, being single does have many benefits and it is not as bad as one might think. I have been single for a while probably 2/3years, I spent most of the my time alone without a partner and yet I am still happy and feel somewhat fulfilled because I can do whatever the heck I want without compromising or having to worry about relationship stuff. Of course at times i crave intimacy and a close bond with a man but I know that I will have a relationship in the future so there is really no need to worry about that for now.

What does it feel like to have a “rebound” relationship after a breakup?

After a breakup, no matter how tough you think you are, you are in a vulnerable stage and you are prone to make bad decisions, and rebound is one of such. Rebound relationship sucks; you probably picked someone who was somehow like your ex, who felt familiar in some way. And in such cases, your chances of making similar mistake are high.

Think of this;

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You fall in love with someone and everything is going well and he/she tells you they are not in love with you but do like you and that they are going back to their original partner or just moving on.

Now that’s what a rebound relationship looks like.

If by chance you find yourself in such a dilemma, do not make the mistake of taking him/her back if it does not work out for them when they’ve move on away from you. You were too giving and they took advantage of you. They may not have done it intentionally but the hard core part of it is, you are left with feelings that you now have to deal with and they really do not care. Moving on sounds easy but you need time to heal as you may find yourself in another relationship you know in your heart that it’s not fulfilling your need

The bottom line is, rebound is not fun at all. You have lots of emotions running wild. Eg. You are constantly thinking of your ex while you are with someone else time or probably having sex and thinking of your ex sporadically.

Why do people get into rebound relationship?

A person who has been in a relationship before will want a relationship in life sooner or later no matter how disgusted they feel at the moment which adds up to the fact that you are emotionally vulnerable and raw after the breakup. When somebody is nice to you and you find their words helpful, you instantly feel attracted to them, even if you would not otherwise because of your current state of mind. 

To be sincere, there is nothing pure or honest about this thing called rebound relationship as you must have carried an unhealed bond into it.  Without giving any time to grieve you fall into another relationship too fast and using this new person that you just met to un-love the other person.

Most people enter a rebound relationship to numb the tremendous pain of break-up. Maybe you had a long term relationship and it just ended, it can be devastating no doubt. You have spent a lot time together and invested everything in this relationship which ended. It is a big life change, not very easy to handle.

Sometimes, you may find the right person who was there all along but you did not notice them because you already thought you had what you wanted. Most of the time, we make a poor decision because of the feeling we had at that moment and it won’t last.

Since a rebound relationship is unhealthy, here is what you have to do after a bad breakup; you need to take time to cool down and learn more about yourself. Slow down! Rushed relationships rarely work because you never took time to know your partner.

To be continue……………….

Written By: Jonathan Juliana

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I’m Julia Jonathan, I write on relationships, communication and lifestyle advice. I believe there’s always room to improve no matter how incredible you think you are. If you think so too, follow me to see more inspirational stories and articles

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