When I started blogging, I recall a friend once told me, how much he hates my write ups not because they are not good but because I always write on relationship. I tried to convince him but his mind was made up and I had to let it go. I felt bad though at the same time, I got strength from people who read my works and say positive things about them.
I choose the relationship niche to write on because it has to do with all what we are going through day by day. Relationship is something we engage in at work, home, and school even inside the public transportation. When you look around, you will discover how messy most relationships are. When you are having a breach of communication in your relationship with your parent or spouse, you hear people telling you to go for counseling, it’s not because the counselor will heal your broken relationship but because going for counseling will help you say those things you feel, those things causing you pains and by so doing,, you kind of lift a burden off your shoulders.
Modern life can place stresses on any relationship and in many cases, expert help is needed to overcome these issues. The advice and guidance of family and friends can be helpful, but often their well-meaning efforts can do more harm than good and make the problems worse. Ideally, everyone would like to be in a good relationship. In order to have such a relationship, it is necessary for us to continually develop and maintain it.
Relationship is indeed a lifetime commitment for us. Whatever age bracket we belong to or experience in life, our relationship will encounter new and demanding challenges. For us to meet these challenges, we should develop flexible skills and better understanding. And there are different types of relationship. But the couple relationship is perhaps the most important in our society, as it is the primary relationship in the life of the people. It is the basic unit of society. I understand some relationships are basically sexual. One thing I was also made to understand is, all healthy and good relationships are built, based on how they communicate effectively and their mutual respect for one another.
The fact still remain that, problems will always arise in relationship as it progresses, it’s not always going to be hugs and kisses at all times. The truth is relationship put to the test most of the time. That is the reason why relationship is taken as a patient to be cured and fixed. The question now is; how are we going to solve the problems? And what role will counseling play in building that solid relationship we’ve always want?
Now, the role of the counselor is not to proffer solutions but to lead in the process of decision making. This is in contrast with the role of an adviser wherein he is expected to give a definite decision by the concerned individual.
Relationship counseling gives new outlook and helpful alternatives. The counseling itself will equip updated methods and way in order to face life`s challenges. In the counseling process, the couple are given time to express their needs and fears and later on they will decide wisely whatever the ill feelings and misunderstanding are.
- Counseling helps in removing of hindrances for an intimate relationship.
- Conflicts are easily resolved by both parties.
- The skills in communicating are enhanced.
- Relationships are very much improved.
- People present are very effective in communicating their thoughts and ideas.
- It helps them respond to situations instead of criticizing and complaining.
- Differences of ideas and beliefs are discussed instead of destroying the reputation of the other person.
One thing we should bear in mind is this; the parties involved in the relationship must be aware of their behavior in order to know how the relationship is affected. Are you oppressed, body shamed, use of foul language etc. you must know where the lope holes are first before you start mending. Do not forget that the main concern of relationship counseling is about the relationship. Relationship counseling is centered on how both parties answer the different issues they are facing. There are some of them who do not respond, while others respond effectively. The betterment of any relationship is the primary concern for most people, while others do not bother.
If we are going to undergo relationship counseling, then what are some of the things we could learn as an individual and as a couple? Below are few of them;
As An Individual
- We will be able to discover a healthy relationship.
- Improvement in one’s relationship.
- We will be able to know what is needed in a relationship.
- Knowing the obstacles of being close and committed.
- Be able to make the relationship full of life, healthy and more fun.
As A Couple
- Acquire a relationship that is full of love and fulfillment.
- Be able to discuss the reasons why we have relationship problems
- Able to end conflicts in a healthy manner.
- Able to resolve issues in relation to commitment.
- To have more intimacy and a fun filled relationship.
It hurts when you see people taking relationship for granted, it’s totally wrong; Relationships are not to be taken for granted. If you can’t maintain the relationship then don’t take a foot forward to build a relationship just for the fun of it or your own selfish interest. And if you build a relationship, then try to maintain it and work for it.
Written by: JONATHAN JULIANA
Image: Stock photo
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