Do you feel used? Do you feel appreciated? Do you feel loved? Do you feel supported? Do you feel taken for granted? Do you feel anxious? Do you feel unfulfilled? Do you feel unheard?

How can you tell someone is playing games with you? 

Did you know, manipulators choose their victims carefully? They go for those with poor boundaries, low self-esteem, the lonely or immature. And those who are naïve people who do not understand that there are bad people in the world. It is hard to believe that the person who held your hand as you cried does not care. It is just a means to an end. 

Manipulators have a radar for people who have the of fear being alone, standing up for themselves or those scared of rejection. These people are often kind – hearted, compassionate, and willing to be helpful. They are often unprotected and unlikely to confess that they are in over their heads. 

Some people are very good at manipulation, and if you have something they want and are holding out, they can keep up the deception for a long time to achieve their goals. Did you know, it takes good thinking and observation to keep someone in line? Most people find it hard to keep their actions and words straight for very long if they are out to deceive or use you. Some of the signs are easy ones to spot. For example: 

  • Treating you nicely one minute and nagging (saying something to undermine your self-confidence) the next minutes. 
  • Being too intimate in conversation a little too soon to throw you off balance. 

Know When to End a Relationship Even Though You Are Still In Love With Your Significant Other.

Manipulators have their ways to rationalize, minimize, evade, and more than anything, they will lie to you. They will apply pressure to the most sensitive and tender places. They are ruthless, and time does not improve their true intention is for you. Rather, what they do is gaslight you and make you start doubting yourself. They love control, and once they realize you are vulnerable, they find a way of keeping you in that spot.

If someone is playing mind games, they will want to turn off the analytical part of your mind so that you are not able to decode their intentions. In most mind games, there is usually one diversion that is supposed to make it appear as if you are close to winning, but still you fail. This is a trick used by the manipulators on their victims subconscious mind to make it appear as if, if you try one more time, the outcome will be different.

Mind games always make you feel you are onto something worthy of winning, and sometimes, that you have won so, you will not feel as if it is no fun to keep playing.

Do you want to know if they are playing games?

Here are questions you need to ask yourself.

  • How long have you known them? If you’ve only just met, she might not know for a while how serious she is. You can’t pressure her to make up her mind prematurely.
  • Are you officially together, or are you just hoping? If you haven’t asked her out yet, she might not realize that you want anything more than friendship. 
  • Does he/she answer your calls? If they don’t, that means they might not be interested, or it might be that he/she is genuinely busy.
  • Does he/she seem to have other people in their life? They could be old friends, or it could be that he/she is playing the field, either not seriously interested in any of you or more serious about someone other than you.

How can you tell when someone playing a mind game with you in a relationship?

  • They always turn the table on you even if they are at fault. Thereby shifting the blames from themselves to you.
  • They avoid answering your question. You never get a straight answer.
  • They are quick to say sorry but never change.
  • They are full of excuses. They never own up for everything. There is always a reason for their actions.
  • They act like they do not care.
  • Their compliment comes with criticism. (compliments always come with negativity, thereby making you sad). 
  • They always make you feel jealous and insecure.
  • They shut down when you want to address issues with them. (Most people may have a hard time opening up when they feel attacked. It is advisable to apply caution)
  • Words and actions do not add up, and this clearly shows there is a lie hidden.

Gentlemen, did you know, most ladies will go all out to test your masculinity. They pretty much know you like them. They might tell you their opinion on something and will check if you will go with them or not. The idea is to see if you go out of your way only to impress them, which is weak in their eyes. They want a man who does not change his opinion for others. It is like a surety for them. If their man can stand up for himself, then he can stand up for them.

They will also test your emotional maturity. How well you can handle any situation. If you are a typical nice guy, then anyone will play around with you and use you. Girls are physically weak beings, so they pick a dominant alpha male. If they choose a nice guy, it might be only for money.

Soon you will learn if the person you are with is worth your time and trust, and if they earn it, then its okay to trust them. When trust is lost, the relationship goes back to square one. No matter the kind of relationship, be it; friendship, business, or romance. If that fails, the relationship will fall apart.

Finally,

If peradventure, you find yourself in a scenario of being manipulated, you need to heal. Know and love yourself in order to break the cycle, or you will keep repeating the same mistakes.

Written by: Julia Jonathan

Photo credit: Getty Image.

Reference:

Stephan Speak Relationship.

By admin

I’m Julia Jonathan, I write on relationships, communication and lifestyle advice. I believe there’s always room to improve no matter how incredible you think you are. If you think so too, follow me to see more inspirational stories and articles

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