Forbidden Fruit Obsession: Why do Single Ladies Get Attracted to Married Men?

Ever wonder why single ladies get attracted to married men, why they crave for something they know quite well is forbidden? Do not worry because I got you covered.

I saw a post on Instagram where a lady said she attended a wedding ceremony there she came across a married man, he was too cute for her liken and the way he was treating his “wife”, yes you heard me right, (his wife was also in attendance) made her love him more and while sitting in church, she was already wet from mere thoughts of him.

This got me thinking, why fantasize about someone else’s husband when you can actually have your own man, a single guy at that?

We all know that the hooked and booked man is like a forbidden temptation. But to most women, that’s what makes him irresistibly attractive to them. They believe he stirs a challenge in them. They feel this great sense of power in attracting a man who is already taken. And another thing they feel makes him the catch for them is his confidence, experience and authority. And to crown it all, the excitement stems from the fact that he’s already taken.

The golden rule here is: you want what you can’t have. Soon, this man becomes an overwhelming obsession for the woman. I call it the ‘forbidden fruit obsession’.

For a woman, a married man represents a certain security she craves for. A woman feels that a married man compared to a bachelor can meet her emotional and material needs in a better manner. Getting a married man signifies a triumph of one woman over another woman. He’s a trophy catch. To have him, is about making the impossible. We all know desire is a powerful thing. It’s why some people will go an extra mile in getting something they are told is quite impossible to get, therefore they want them of of their desire for them.

Besides, no one will ever know that they were together because the reason was not to gloat or ruin his marriage, but for purely selfish reasons on the lady’s part. Being selfish is not always a bad thing and in most cases, the lady in question will not perceive this as betrayal of any sort. after all, she is not the one who took the vow but him.

I recall a friend telling me about her life as a single lady, she said she had every one of them for its specific purpose.  She always knew they can never satisfy her sexually but then in the monetary aspect, they meet her needs. All she needs is just one phone call.

We all know that a man who is handsome, has a great personality, is passionate about life will have many women pursuing him, isn’t it?  It is hardly likely he is single unless he wants to or he is the type who has many options yet chooses to remain single and just play the field. That said, finding a man who’s handsome and kind and funny and married makes him seem that much better.

There are two main reasons why women fall for married men.

  • Wild attraction.
  • Vulnerability

Other reasons include;

  • Boredom.
  • Sadness.
  • Loneliness.
  • Material Things.

If a woman wanted a fling, she could have had it with anybody. But with a married man at her beck and call makes her value herself more. The fact that they (men) are willing to throw it all over for them(single ladies)  increases their self-esteem. Mind you, the lady in question is enjoying this fantasy, as much as the married man is wooing, his experience and the way he makes her feel extra special.

Majority of the married men tend to choose women who are easily flattered and looking for love desperately. They look out for the weak-willed women who are lonely enough to sleep with another woman’s husband just to make herself feel better.

Sometimes, they like the fact that he (married man) does not go weak in the knees in front of her. He is a symbol of authority. This relationship is about adventure and fun. But this is a dangerous fun. There’s a risk of ruining another person’s life.


Married men love playing games. They give out the vibe ‘I’m married but I’m game’. Married men are always on the lookout for fun. These are men on the prowl. For a woman, it might be difficult to resist the vibes of attraction from a married man. He makes himself so indispensable

Just like my friend said, a married man can give you a great time. There are times when this forbidden attraction transforms into love and romance, especially if the man doesn’t have a happy marriage. Not all married men are jerks, some even leave their wives and get married to women they love. But the fact is, men and women love playing power games with each other. This is a dangerous game. It can take you through highs and lows, like you’ve never experienced. Human beings are fragile and one learns from trial and error. Still thinking about going after that married man?  it’s totally up to you  to decide, whether it is a viable option to have a relationship with a married man.

Personally, I would never pursue or become involved with another woman’s’ husband. I have many reasons for not doing so, but the main ones include:

  1. He is married!
  2. To act on my desires would mean destroying another woman.
  3. I want no part in the destruction of another person’s happiness and marriage.
  4. If he is capable of cheating on and hurting someone he loves, what is he capable of doing to me?
  5. If he leaves his wife for me, what will stop him from cheating on me? He has already demonstrated poor character and a misguided set of morals.
  6. I was brought up right and I respect the boundaries and sanctity of marriage.
  7. I wouldn’t do to another, what I wouldn’t want done to me.

Having known my reasons for not dating a married man, whats yours?



Image: Stock photo


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I’m Julia Jonathan, I write on relationships, communication and lifestyle advice. I believe there’s always room to improve no matter how incredible you think you are. If you think so too, follow me to see more inspirational stories and articles

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