Relationships just like our bodies, requires time and energy to be put into them to thrive and survive. Knowing that it’s falling apart is heart wreaking even though it isn’t the most important thing, but recognizing this and then attempting to fix it is the most important thing. . Normally when relationship starts “falling apart”, it is due to changes encounter overtime and most of them do not seem like it used to be from the onset.
Most people allow their relationship go stale over time once they get married, they slowly let go of the things that they previously bonded over. At times we fall into really bad patterns of assuming the worst, selfishly focusing on our own needs, and becoming quickly offended by things that could have easily been worked out through open, vulnerable communication. Everyone starts seeing themselves as a victim of the other person. We forget that switching things up and doing what it takes to continue growing together is what makes a good and healthy relationship.
Most time people pretend not see the relationship falling apart even though it is. They act surprised and always use the words “I never saw it coming” which we all know is a lie. At times you try putting things in order and your significant other will tell you nothing is wrong with the relationship, listen; the fact that your spouse thinks everything is fine, is the biggest problem, because it suggests that each of you are chasing different goals, and you support different values. Why would you be comfortable with the way your relationship is heading? If you are too incompatible in such fundamental ways as that, chances of “saving” the relationship are slim.
So, what should you be doing for the relationship? The most important is “communicate” with each other honestly at all times. Communication requires that you listen actively when your partner is talking. And honesty is essential. I’ll admit, sometimes it’s too late to try fixing the broken pieces together but at least attempting it and doing all you can means that you tried your hardest and you know for sure it wasn’t meant to be.
Relationships don’t fall off the wagon overnight. There have been adequate warning signs over a long period of time and yet we refuse to accept the reality. Here are a few signs showing your relationship is falling apart:
- When u don’t talk anymore. You switched from the playful sign of you, to the nonchalant side. Most times you communicate through written notes.
- When u don’t even like the sight of him or her. Sight of them irritates you. No matter how hard you try to act cool, it just don’t work.
- When no one says thank you. Remember how you use to appreciate him/her for even the little of things they did for you? You stop appreciating them even with the little words of “Thank you”.
- When u don’t even want to touch each other Or sit close to each other. You can’t sleep on the same bed or even give them a simple hug. You even had to move from your bedroom to living room or even use the couch as a bed all because you do not want them to touch you.
- When u can do 1 day straight without them and then a week and then a month and then forever …lol as funny as this may sound, it happens in some relationship. You go through their work schedule to know when they will be gone so you can be alone, not because you have other hidden motives or agenda but you just want them go and you can stay a whole day not minding to check up on them.
Someone will say, I tried; but it’s just not working. Relationship is a team work, when one team-mate is to do the pulling, and the fixing all by themselves, and the other who is able to help sit down with hands folded , it is a sure sign that something is not right . Life is what you make it. And if this is the person you want to be with forever, you need to do what it takes rather than wallowing in the thought that it’s “falling apart.” Remember, falling apart means that it’s in the process, not that it’s already fallen apart. Do what you can to prevent it falling apart any further.
The single fact that you want to rejuvenate you failing relationship mean it will act as the strongest factor in favor. However, before you do anything, ask yourself, do you really want to save this? If it is worth that and more, then; here are a few things you must do:
- Get some financial stability: Money answers all things, when you are financially stable, you will be able to do those things you want to do for them, eg; a surprise get-way trip, dinner for two in a lovely restaurant. Ladies you can also plan all these for your man, who says it’s only the man that needs financial stability in a relationship?
- Communicate with a plan: Communication is the crucial medium through which you can bond and connect with other people. The first thing you need to do is really write down what you want to say and how you want to say it to.
- Realize that, Everyone however much they love you has a breaking point. When one is pushed to far, when one is trying and they realize their effort is not appreciated, they gradually loose interest. Stop testing people patience.
- Change that thing you are doing wrong no matter how little it is. That thing may be, scattering things around, not complimenting your significant other. Etc.
- Stop the fights. Make a conscious effort even if it means giving him/her the win.
- Go out of your way to do those nice things that you haven’t for a while. Flowers, Chocolates, Small Notes, nothing is too much really.Try to listen to your heart more and your head less. It helps. Lastly,
- Try to listen to your heart more and your head less. It helps. It really does.
The worst thing that can happen to you is knowing you had a great relationship but due some little mistakes, misunderstanding you realize you did nothing to save it. if you let something go that is very dear to you, you will forever have regrets. And need i remind you that it won’t come back. So, Plant Your Feet Firmly. Stand Your Ground. Always bear in mind that, everyone makes mistakes and if the one who made the mistake wakes up in time and asks for forgiveness and starts putting their shits together again , it could be healed . A Good relationship is made up of two good forgivers.
I want you to know this; one person can’t save a relationship that’s falling apart and doing nothing about the relationship equals to a doomed relationship.
Written by: JONATHAN JULIANA
Image: Stock photo
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