I’ve got something juicy for the ladies today, I want to speak on something we find very difficult to understand. First and foremost,
Have you ever met this great guy and everything is going smooth, the love is superb, he cares, he is always there whenever you beckoned on him, he is a helper, a God sent, everything you’ve ever wished for, then all a sudden, he goes cold towards you, he snubs you, pick offense with every little thing you do. You crawl back to shell and your mind is filed with questions begging for answers?
I will discuss with you why men loose interest and also proffer solution to it.
Most ladies thinks when men pull away from relationship, 80% of it has everything to do with them.. Sometimes you are worried, and you start asking questions like,
Is there anything I could have done differently that I did not do
When a man suddenly loose interest, there are chances that he knows you want a commitment with him and he is not ready to give you that Trust me, I have been there, sometimes you even loose yourself while trying to figure out what went wrong”. This minutes he can’t leave without you, he comes on so strong and all of a sudden he develops cold feet. There is a saying,
Men are moved by what they see
Its not their fault that’s how they are programmed. Whenever they see a new woman, they put all their energy there that moment, they find her irresistible, smart and attractive, they want to prove to her they are good but when they finally win her heart, the fear of commitment sets in and they develop cold feet.
Most times what makes guys loose interest is insecurity. I once dated a guy who told me “Julia, you are loving me too much and its not good” some feel they are unworthy of your love. The same way guys are moved by what they see,
Ladies are moved by what they hear
When a man comes so strong at you, feeding you with sweet lines, do not be too quick to fall for it. A man who really wants a relationship with you, a man who wants a commitment with you would hide his true feeling until they come to really know you, that’s when they will make their intentions know.
One of the reasons men loose interest is because, most ladies scare them off. You meet this guy, the next thing is, you are planning the future, how many kids you want, your dream house etc. Why not enjoy the moment for the time being? Most men, when they see you acting too serious in your relationship, they get scared and loose interest.
This matters a lot, have you taken time to look at your physical appearance of recent? Compare it to how you look back then when he first met you. Most ladies when they meet a new guy, they spend time taking care of them self, they eat healthy, work out and all of a sudden you let yourself go. Remember, it was something that attracted the man to you in the first place and always remember, men are human too. Most men would speak to you about it others won’t, since you are still much interested in the relationship, put more effort in those area where you’ve lost the woman he fell in love with and watch him crawl back to you. Focus more on looking more attractive to him and slowly you will restored your lost relationship and also restored your lost esteem.
I used to have this issue but in my own case I don’t argue with my man, what i do is, I gently crawl into my shell. generally, guys hate ladies who nags, you may say “I don’t nag” but you may be like me that always crawl into your shell, that also men don’t like. Learn to control your emotions, stop criticizing things he does or say. For instance, if he fails to do what you think or expect him to do, do not always get angry at him, focus on managing your mood.
I met a guy and while dating he often pull back and just like every other girl, I felt I was doing something wrong but he opened up to me, he told me everything was moving too fast and it kinda scared him off
3. LIFE STRESS:
Society projects man as superman who don’t have emotional problem but that’s all craps, men have a million and one stress going on in their mind. A man may loose interest in relationship when he is facing some major stress. It may be he lost someone dear to him, he may be facing financial difficulty or he might have lost his job. When things like this are happening, I want you to realize it has nothing to do with you, he is just distracted with the things happening around him. When things like this occurs, give him time to work things out on his own, I know you may want to help out but men and women are wired differently, he may not respond to the support you are offering, it might even piss him off. Give him space to sort himself out.
Another reason a man would lost interest is;
4. HE IS IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE.
Well a lot of you will agree with me that once a man start losing interest in you, we start thinking and some of us start our secret investigation to know who the lady stealing his attention from us is
I bet most of us would be so good in the FBI because of the way we always map out our investigations… lol.
Sometimes we get hurt with our discovery. As painful as it is, I want you to know that most times its always true. A man can be head over hills in love with you from the onset of the relationship, then all of a sudden he pulls back and he stops giving you attention. Do not freak out, if emotionally you are OK, you give him space when necessary, he is financially stable and he has no problem with his job, if he is not having any issue with all I mentioned above, then it leaves us with two options, its either he is in love with someone from his past or he just met someone new and he is in love with her ” like you’ve always suspected”. Do not be depressed, he falling in love with someone else does not mean you are ugly, inadequate or not sexy etc. It just happened he did. You may be thinking he fell in love with her because of your flaws No! He did not, he had it going on in his mind, its his responsibility.
Another reason why men suddenly pull back is;
5. SOMETHING WAS WEIRD ABOUT THE SEX.
Everyone likes sex a lot even if you pretend you don’t. Most times people might be having issues in their sex life its not because they are not good but maybe its the fault of their partner. He might want noise during sex and he is not getting it from you, maybe issues with un-kept pubic hair, he may be the adventure type and you are not or maybe some other issues. Remember, sex is like food and if he is not getting it from you it become a reason for him to loose interest.
Have you ever imagine why a man would leave the girl he’s been dating for years and settle with someone he just met?
It might be because your proclivities don’t line up. Probably you find out there is a mismatch the very first time your cloths went off, it might as well just be the last time; sometimes it might be the way you kiss. for instance;
I love good kiss and if the first time I kiss you and you kiss like a mountain lion mauling a deer, I loss interest in kissing you immediately
I agree with you that nobody is born a great player, lover, kisser or calligrapher. The same way people learn to cook as well as learn other chores through books and workshops, you can also consult books, workshops and learn new skills. Sexual compatibility matters a lot in relationship. Its better you don’t engage in sexual activities that will result in dingy offspring. Always learn to stick to you boundaries, understand your body and set limits.
When a man lose interest, do not force him, let him be, remember, you can’t force love, there is an adage which says ” when you hold on too tight, you loose it” let it fly and if it comes back then its yours.
I want you to always remember that in the beginning of any relationship, the bond between both parties are fragile, remember its two strangers gambling on each other trying to make things work out between them. Everyone is trying to play safe, nobody wants to invest themselves in anything.
When a man start loosing interest in you, its normal to freak out but I would advice you don’t, take a step back and analyze your relationship, find solution to the problems you are facing, do not blame anyone, focus more on making your relationship work.
Finally, relationship don’t work when one person jumps ahead of the other person. This often scares guys off and make them loose interest. It makes them feels you are making all the decision for them.
WRITTEN BY: Juliana Jonathan
photo credit: stock stutter