The first thought that comes to mind is that; the person was frightened. Isn’t that so? Come to think of it, frightened of what?

Often times I discovered that such happens more with online relationship. Yes! You hear people say; we were so good together then he stopped talking to me. It does not really surprise me because there is no personal attachment. We often feel they stop caring or simply disappeared because someone else came along.

Here is an instance:

 James happened to know two women at the same time; with one, the relationship was progressing much quicker and with the other, James had been let down several times and it also seems she is taking him for a ride. The truth is, with both women, James had good time but at some point, he needs to make a decision. What will James do?

Listen, no one suddenly stops working on their relationship and suddenly disappear, at times someone came along and other times, or maybe at one point, he/she felt you were not worth it.

Humans are wonderful creatures you know. Often, these people pretend to be someone else as long as they can go. It hurts to see people investing weeks and weeks of their life in an individual and then find out that they suddenly changed their mind.

Imagine you putting all your effort and focus in one relationship and then boom! Then individual performs ABRAKATABRA! and disappears? It is devastating.

Most times the reason why most people suddenly disappear on their love usually happens when the goal of the person is just to have sex and not a relationship. Sometimes they succeed and other times when they get the idea that their interest is not ready give in, they give up and simply disappear.

People can also disappear on you when they love and cares about you, yes you heard me right. Some people will tell you, you are too good for me. Another thing is; when they are not yet ready, when they feel undeserving or maybe they desire growth before they can fully settle in a relationship. Some will be confident enough to tell you while other will just disappear because they want the best for you.

We all know men are like hunters, typically, they do the pursuing and interaction with women while women on the other hand are usually on the receiving end of the advances from men. Now, this distinction can play a role in how each sex (male/female) may act differently when they find themselves in this situation.

You find out that people initially like you and they tend to get close, the flow is superb but once they are getting very intimate with you, and probably are not sure of continuing their relationship, they tend to repel from you. Amongst many reason why people disappear, is insecurity about their relationship.

I have heard people say lots of reason why they disappear and if I was to judge by gauging their response, I would say never trust, I know it may sound like a pretty hopeless way to go through dating. One may begin to imagine; at what point can I really trust that I have a REAL connection? Nobody will be happy giving years, months or weeks of their precious time on something that is not really honest. Does it mean I will be alone or rather play games to win the upper hand?

Here are some reasons why people sudden disappear/leave after saying, I love you;

  • They want space for other things.
  • They were playing mind games and were never genuinely interested in the first place.
  • They are genuinely interested and have strong feeling for you but they really need space to process them (those feeling).
  • They probably settled their differences with their ex and they want to continue from where they stopped.
  • Lack of chemistry. (if it’s not there, it’s not there).
  • Lack of compatibility. (They may be interested initially but after a while they get to know you and realized that you are not good for them and you are not what they are looking for).
  • They are interest in just one thing. (sex, money, connection, etc.)
  • To make you realize what their absence mean to you.
  • They do not want you to feel forced for relationship, they want it to be your own heart desire.
  • Maybe you are being too needy or too insecure.

Written by: Jonathan Juliana

Photo credit: Photo Stutter




I’m Julia Jonathan, I write on relationships, communication and lifestyle advice. I believe there’s always room to improve no matter how incredible you think you are. If you think so too, follow me to see more inspirational stories and articles

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